An Unexpected Voyage

Rebirth via Roleplay and a Rowdy Good Time

I think back fondly on my days as a pirate.

No, not an actual pirate. I never plundered booty or sailed the Seven Seas, but I did have great adventures that changed me as a person.

Before those days I desperately struggled to find my way in the world. I was just starting to find myself socially and spiritually. I began practicing Yoga and Tai Chi every day, but I would still get blazed out of my mind regularly to distract myself from the crushing anxiety of my own self-perceived inadequacy. I explored everything from raves to slam poetry in attempt to find some sense of connection and meaning.

I was on a continuous hunt for the tips and tricks that would suddenly make me an ideal man without all that pesky “practice” and “consistency” nonsense.

I wanted all the fruits, without putting in the work of sowing seeds.

Hell, I didn’t even know what seeds to sow, or how to sow them.

But then a friend told me about a pirate festival not too far from home, and cheap enough for my part-time janitor budget.

I was really excited to go. I had been roleplaying for years in games like Dungeons & Dragons, and it felt like a fun opportunity to do it live, meet people who are into the same things, and have a jolly good time.

Of course, at that point in my life, I still had a boat-load of social anxiety, so I tried to get my friends to come along with me, and not a single one was interested.

But I had already bought the ticket. No backing out now.

I spent the days leading up to the festival trying to hype myself up, and preparing myself for adventure. I started thinking up ideas for fun stuff I could share, and how I could be a bit more piratey.

And then I asked myself a question that changed my life forever.

What if I played a character that was basically me, but better?

The thought sent chills down my spine. Nobody would know me at this festival. I could pretend to be anyone I wanted to be, and no one would be able to tell me otherwise.

I started dreaming up a character with a suitably pirate-ish name, Phineas Quinby. I thought about how Phineas, or Phin, for short, would have all of the awesome qualities I wanted to develop in myself and none of the lame ones. Phineas wasn’t socially awkward, he was charming. He wasn’t afraid of women, he was unapologetically romantic. He didn’t lack self-esteem, but rather overflowed with confidence. Phin was funny, witty, kind—chivalrous even, and he was always looking for a way to make friends and have a good time.

Plus he had a sexy Irish/West Country accent. Arguably the perfect man.

Every night at work, I would get deeper into the mind of Phineas. I would practice the accent and listen to Blaggards, Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys. I would imagine myself performing heroic deeds, adventuring with new companions, and charming the ladies. I saw myself having an amazing time at this festival, and loving every minute of it.

Plus, I brought my burgeoning spiritual practices into the mix, and started to visualize myself in a more metaphorical way:

I saw the Sun at the center of my Heart, symbolic of Divine Love radiating through me. I would feed every breath to that Central Sun and watch it grow bigger and bigger, until it expanded beyond my body. I saw and felt myself as a golden being, complete, perfect, and whole. That Light would shine through me, radiating to everyone I met, and expanding across the entire planet and out into the Universe.

(The greatest booty you’ll ever plunder is the booty found within.)

Anyway, the point is that I could feel myself changing as I did these practices. I thought that this was just a temporary character I was going to play, but in truth I was visualizing a new reality and gradually stepping into it. In some ways, it was conscious. In other ways, not so much.

But conscious or not, I was changing.

That’s because the most important aspect of changing yourself is in the reinvention.

Many of us recognize the need for change in our lives, but it’s all too common to try to change while still being deeply attached to the person that we were.

We create an identity for ourselves that is based on limiting beliefs, such as:

• I’m too stupid/old to learn that new skill.

• I’m just addicted, I can’t quit.

• I get sick so often, I could never be healthy

Adhering to these beliefs violates one of the most potent laws of the Universe:

The only constant is change.

But of course, against all odds, we have cracked the code! We’ve somehow managed to create an immutable legacy of being too stupid/clumsy/emotional/unhealthy/etc. that will surely stand the test of time! It will remain carved in stone as a testament to just how unfair our traumas were, and as a righteous justification for our own self-imprisonment!

I say bollocks to that, scallywags. ‘Tis naught but a farce, and ye deserve better.

Charting a Course

I’ve studied a lot of self-improvement books, workshops, seminars, and coaches, and one thread that pops up incredibly often is the need to create a blueprint or a vision for the life we want to create.

I spent years of my life floundering about, grasping for opportunities with no idea of where I was headed or why. When I created a vision for what I wanted, it didn’t make the pathway any less murky, but I could at least be sure that each step I took had intention, and I could orient myself in the direction of my goal.

Once you have a clearly-defined blueprint, you can focus on the invention!

One of the most potent ways I’ve found to do this is to visualize the new you, like the way I visualized Phineas Quinby. You can prompt your imagination by asking yourself:

• What does it feel like to be the new me?

• What does the new me do every day?

• How does the new me respond to (specific situation)?

As you answer these questions, your vision will become clearer, and you’ll gain access to some serious reinvention cheat codes.

Because every single time you decide to do what the new you does, and feel what the new you feels, you take a step on the path of becoming the new you.

Which makes nothing but sense! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:

The Universe works in Patterns!

That’s why “practice makes perfect.” That’s why “confidence is key.”

Because every time you do something, you are more likely to do it again. Your body and mind get habituated to the activity with each repetition. You gain confidence in that activity, and the more confidence you have, the more willing you are to meet the challenges that activity brings.

Practice is a self-perpetuating cycle. When you create the pattern, the pattern takes on a life of its own. It wants to keep on living, and it will do everything it can to convince you to give it further life.

And the patterns are always active. You cannot escape them, you can only change their direction.

If you cultivate a pattern of movement through exercise, it will become easier to move and do physical activities.

If you cultivate a pattern of stillness by laying on the couch, scrolling through social media, it will become easier to lay on the couch and scroll.

That inertia that we feel when we are about to start something new is really just old patterns taking precedence over the new ones. Those patterns have become a part of our identity, so we tell ourselves “I’m just lazy” instead of accepting our limitless potential as creative beings.

When I was preparing for my new life as a sailor on the Seven Symbolic Seas, I was visualizing an entirely different way of being and giving a ton of positive energy each day to that vision. The only skill I was actually practicing was the West Country accent.

But the vision alone led me to a new way of being.

It’s quite fascinating what the human mind can do. The Placebo Effect has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that the mind has a potent effect on the body, even when the chemistry seems to disagree. And now studies have shown that simply visualizing yourself exercising can lead to increased strength and muscle mass even if you don’t physically do the exercise. ¹

So how do we apply this in our lives?

Well, the human brain has a very difficult time distinguishing our imaginations from reality. Which has many profound implications.

This means that when we imagine ourselves doing an activity, we strengthen the same neural pathways that we use when we are actually doing that activity. In imagining myself as a dashing rogue, I started to feel what it was like. The Pattern had begun. Soon, I would be attuned to finding opportunities to act like that dashing rogue.

And impostor syndrome be damned, you ARE what you DO!

No master’s-degree-in-swashbuckling necessary.

Setting the Sails

These neural pathways are strengthened greatly by the presence of emotion, too. That’s why it’s so hard for boring and mundane tasks to stick in our minds, but so easy to remember that first kiss with the cute hippie at that epic burner festival…

Where was I?

Oh yeah, emotion.

When you have a strong emotion tied to an event, your brain strengthens the neural pathways related to that event so it holds more significance in your mind. It’s easier to learn and easier to remember. ²

When you are imagining an event, strong emotions will do the same. The studies have shown that people visualizing themselves working out gain strength, but not as much as those who visualize themselves working out as hard as they can.

So if you want to create a strong blueprint for reinventing yourself, you will have to feel what it’s like to have the life of your dreams.

Don’t just see it, experience it.

Ask yourself, “how do I want to feel?” and then answer that question with your imagination.

Witness your dreams unfolding before you, feel what it is like to receive those gifts, and give all the gratitude you can muster for the blessings coming your way.

You don’t need to focus on the specifics. Because in truth, you don’t want that new car, that new job, or that new partner. You want the feelings that come with them.

All we ever want are the feelings and emotions attached to those experiences.

And that is totally okay.

Not just okay, it’s wonderful! The greatest gift of life is the opportunity to experience things and feel emotions, and be beautifully imperfect humans—not cold, unfeeling machines.

By now it should be pretty clear that our emotions are deeply connected to our identities. Our most potent emotional experiences give the greatest definition to our lives, for better or worse.

This mental imagination-reality equivalency also means that the stories we tell ourselves literally shape our perception, our identity, and ultimately our reality.

I’ll give you a moment to read that again.

The way that we all experience reality is filtered through the lens of our personal story. There is no such thing as “objective” reality within the human mind. It simply cannot exist.

Everything we see, feel, and experience is ultimately molded by the person experiencing it. When something happens to us, we immediately create a story in our minds to contextualize the event. We give it meaning, purpose, and a place in the timeline of our life. We try to ascertain the cause and predict the effects.

Sometimes, we take those events extremely personally and allow them to change our self-perceptions, and thus shape our identities.

Raising the Anchor

Even a cutlass wound to the leg may have an undeniable physical impact, but the way the person on the receiving end experiences it is entirely unique to them. For one salty dog, their sailing days may be over. They may feel downtrodden, and decide they could never rig a sail again.

If they tell themselves that story, then it is sure to be true for them.

And yet, another plucky buccaneer will be determined to find a peg of proper proportion and return to the open sea with renewed determination, limp and all!

The trauma and challenges we face in life can be a huge hindrance or a great blessing. The stories we tell ourselves decide which one they are. Our traumas can be a weight on our shoulders that we refuse to shed, or they can be fuel for our inner fire, compelling us to change ourselves and the world.

In some of my recent posts, I’ve written a bit about my past, in which I had no desire to live. For my mother (the number-one fan of my writing) those stories brought her to tears.

For me, they are a source of strength.

Back then, those stories kept me sick, tired, unmotivated, and unhealthy. Now they are a reminder of the human superpower of transformation.

They are proof that I can change my life for the better when I truly believe in my vision and give energy to creating a brighter future one step at a time.

The pain I felt is my inspiration to help reduce the suffering of others and show them a pathway to greater health and wellbeing by sharing my story.

When I was in those dark places, it felt like there was no escape.

But now I’ve become someone new, and I know that there is no going back.

The Voyage Begins

The pirate festival crested the horizon, black flags billowing, and sailed away in the span of a weekend, only to return one year hence.

And I had crackin’ good time.

I made witty jokes, some people actually believed I was from Dublin, and I made about a dozen new friends. Some of them would come to play important roles in my life.

When I came back, I realized that I had actually forgotten what my normal voice sounded like. It took a couple days of conscious effort to drop the accent and return to normal.

I almost wish I hadn’t. I may be a bit less sexy now, but it’s much easier to explain where I’m from, at least.

It was great to be Phineas Quinby for a while, sure.

But he was not entirely me.

It was my imagination that gave Phin life, and part of him lives within me yet, (particularly with a bit of rum in me belly) but I can’t deny that I’m a bit different since giving birth to that character.

Plenty of treasure to be found singing shanties and telling tales of times past,

but Phin taught me to keep one eye on my compass

and the other on the horizons to come.

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Well, this one has been a long time coming. Three days late and perhaps 300 words too long, but hopefully worth every dubloon. It’s been great sharing my reflections on Rebirth this month, and I trust you’ve found some wisdom in my stories—both the serious and the silly.

I’ve been on Substack for two months now, and it’s been such an amazing journey. It has taught me quite a bit about myself and how I can find a balance between work, life and hobbies. My last two posts have been behind schedule due to good ol’ life stuff, but I’ve had to put my perfectionist tendencies aside and love the process all the same.

I really appreciate having you along for the ride. You have no idea how much it means to me to be able to share myself with the world and have over 50 new friends ready to listen.

So thanks for being here.

Thank you for you.

And as always,

Stay lofty.

1. https://www.elitefts.com/education/become-53-stronger-by-using-your-imagination/

https://www.wellandgood.com/visualization-muscle-growth/

https://envision.app/visualization/health-and-fitness/

2. Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza